your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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