If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
