NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
