you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
