Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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