i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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