Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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