this boner is exhausting
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
