he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
