I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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