I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Randomize