I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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