Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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