READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
