I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
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We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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