It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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