I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
