i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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