Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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