My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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