I heard we made out
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
