You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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