I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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