how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
