He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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