You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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