they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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