They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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