I heard we made out
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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