I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm both gender and math confused
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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