Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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