that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
