Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I can text with my tongue
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
