I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
