he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
