There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's always time for handjobs
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
