i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
