I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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