I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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