she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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