Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
