Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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