the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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