How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
