i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
