she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
