god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
