For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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