Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
