i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
