I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
