Umm I'm too high to move.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
