Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
