We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
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