Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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