Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
