Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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