For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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