you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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